children
We all have those days.

Today has been pants. And then I stumbled upon a list of wonderful things children name things that previously had rather mundane names and it made me smile. And because we could all use an extra smile now and again, I am going to share said list with you, prepare your cheek muscles…

  1. instead of cactus – poke trees
  2. rhino – a battle unicorn
  3. farting – singing in my pants
  4. elevators – uppy rooms
  5. escalators – robot stairs
  6. penguins – cold owls
  7. pizza crusts – pizza bones
  8. cheese slices (you know that plastic-y burger cheese?) – cheese pads
  9. memory – remembery
  10. trumpet (the instrument, not a polite fart) – tooty parp (sounds like a polite fart now!)
  11. back of the knee – leg pit
  12. beards/facial hair – face grass
  13. prune juice – poop juice
  14. gloves – hand socks
  15. vultures – flamingo witches
  16. toilet paper – pull-it paper
  17. automatic doors – ghost doors (NB to be avoided at all costs!)
  18. cemeteries – gardens of dead people
  19. dreams – the stories in my eyes (personally love this one!)
  20. sheets – bed skins
  21. when I’m not mad at you – I’m happy at you
  22. killer whale – panda whale
  23. salami – special sausage (behaaaaave!)
  24. weetabix – bread breakfast
  25. McDonalds – window chicken (this really tickled me!)
  26. spatula – egg swoosher
  27. flashing aeroplanes in the night sky – star cars
  28. vaccum cleaner – suckerupper
  29. ear muffs – snow headphones
  30. harmonica – cowboy trumpet
  31. ravioli – pasta pockets
  32. bra – boobweb
  33. skunks – fart squirrels
  34. wreaths (like for Christmas) – tree hoops
  35. fried eggs – flat eggs and boiled eggs – round eggs

Children are innocent wonders and should now be allowed to name stuff for real! I’m crying!

If only we stayed this innocent for ever!